An Open Letter to Emma Watson

Dear Ms Watson,

I read with interest your formal invitation for men to join the effort for gender equality. I agree that we need full gender equality, and that this is important to men because, as you say, “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society despite my needing his presence as a child as much as my mother’s. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness unable to ask for help for fear it would make them look less ‘macho’ — in fact in the UK suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20-49”.

And I agree with you that gender equality will go unrealized so long as only half of humanity is “invited or feel[s] welcome to participate in the conversation”.

I wish I could accept your invitation as presented, but rather than the sentiment “HeForShe”, I will only support “HeAndShe”.

People communicate when they feel safe opening up: when they feel listened to, respected, and when they think they’re unlikely to be attacked. But most men are silent about feminism and avoid the topic whenever possible.

You observe that “fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating”, and then you quote the dictionary which says that feminism is about equality. All perspectives to a greater or lesser degree must confront a gap between ideology and actual behaviour. That feminists constantly point to the dictionary rather than specific examples of how they actually treat men is a red flag.

For example, in the United States the National Organization for Women opposes shared parenting even though this is exactly the sort of issue one should support for gender equality. To make matters worse, feminists often blame fathers for not fighting hard enough against family court discrimination, ignoring the fact that these fathers usually lack the required financial resources to advocate for themselves. Similar blaming of women for discrimination they face is labelled misogyny.

I’m not saying that all feminists hate men, but a significant minority do (and there are plenty of quotations to prove it). Feminism in general, however, has tolerated misandry.

But more to the point, HeForShe strikes me as rather patriarchal and traditionalist. The primary male role is protecting and providing for women and children, even with his life if necessary. Is the sentiment “HeForShe” really all that different from “women and children first”?

The website states, “HeForShe is a solidarity movement for gender equality that brings together one half of humanity in support of the other [sic] of humanity”.

What it doesn’t say is “both halves of humanity supporting each other”.

Before a man can protect women he must first be able to protect himself. No one will do that for him. One half of humanity must protect the other half, but the protector half is on its own. That’s what the traditional male role is all about. Male stoicism and machismo isn’t arrogance – it’s a defense.

My assessment of HeForShe is only reinforced by another statement on the website: “In recent years men have begun to stand-up in addressing inequalities and discrimination faced by women and girls”. But I see nothing on the website about men standing up for inequalities faced by men, or women standing up for men.

HeForShe implies a primacy of her needs over his – women and children first. It’s common to dismiss men’s needs because men are said to have all the advantages, and focusing on men takes away from the focus on women. But this is zero sum thinking. Equality means focusing on both women’s and men’s needs.

For example, we all know of the horrific acid attacks against women, and we must do everything we can to stop it. But few are aware that one-third of the victims are male. It’s a similar story with severe domestic violence and sexual assault by women against men.

A man who points out these facts is likely to be met with a mocking, “What about the mens?” Women can easily shame men into silence. After all, stoicism is required of “real men”. So, while we’ve all heard the statistic that American women earn 77 cents to a man’s dollar, few of us know that 9 of 10 workplace deaths are male, that the majority of the chronically homeless are male, and that men are more likely than women to be the victim of a violent crime. Boys are falling far behind in school and at university, but efforts to address these inequalities are shot down.

The primacy of women’s issues rather than the equality of women’s and men’s issues means men’s issues will continue to be ignored.

I want a consideration of men’s humanity rather than a consideration of how men can be more useful to women. Women are objectified sexually, but men are objectified as utilities – “human doings rather than human beings”. Though probably not consciously intended, the name HeForShe continues that objectification.

I understand that this is not what many women want to hear, and I expect it to anger many men as well because they don’t want to acknowledge their vulnerabilities. But sparing women from criticism puts women on a pedestal, which is passive-aggressive sexism. That’s why I’ve taken the time to say why I think your campaign is likely well intentioned, but misguided. I’m not signing on precisely because I believe in equality.

Sincerely,

“Eldritch Edain” (aka “weird man”)

 

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111 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Emma Watson

    1. Straight to the point, perfect. He for she…might as well call it business as usual.
      No, women don’t want to hear this. The more I’m around the MRM the more convinced I am that a woman can’t contemplate a thought that triggers a negative feeling.

      1. Estlin, apparently you’d prefer not to have the support of the women Emma spoke of–those who reject the label feminist. Since a woman can’t contemplate these thoughts, we’ll be happy to leave you where you are.

        Fuck it. I don’t need this crap. The more I’m around men like you, the less I believe in equality. I’m better than you, because i don’t put all men in a category and label them as hopeless, as you just did to women.

      2. Yeah OK… “Women are foot stamping whiny children”. I’m not exaggerating what you just said, I’m calling you on what you actually meant. “Men’s rights” activists wonder why everyone thinks they’re bitter reactionaries, they need look no further than posts like yours.

    1. @SPOOKIEWON

      You have just made the fundamental error of confusing ‘women’ with ‘feminism’. ‘Women’ are a demographic while ‘feminism’ is an ideology. Many feminists aren’t women, and many women aren’t feminists. MHRAs never conflate ‘women’ with ‘feminism’. Only feminists do that – but only when it suits them, of course.

      It is a common feminist tactic to accuse anyone who criticizes feminism as having criticized women. This enables them to label critics of feminism as misogynists – they never miss an opportunity to demonize. The fact that it is quite clever doesn’t change the fact that It is also extremely dishonest. Those of us who are familiar with feminist rhetoric instantly recognize it as a shaming tactics which is used to silence inconvenient dissent.

      If this isn’t proof enough that you are a feminist – regardless of whether or not you identify as one – the fact that you believe less in equality every time a man like Eldritch Edain advocates on behalf of the rights and welfare of men and boys certainly is. It indicates that you don’t believe in equality at all, but embrace the ‘women first’ approach to gender issues that Mr Edain mentioned.

      You almost got away with it – and may have even succeeded – were it not for the fact that people like Mr Eldain, and a growing number of MHRAs like me, are calling feminists out on their shaming and lies. Next time, try to address the points raised by Mr Edain rather than attempting to deflect them with unsubstantiated accusations that he has something against women. His belief in gender equality is stated unequivocally throughout the article – it is something you could not possibly have missed, unless it was intentional.

      It’s a brand new day, SPOOKIENON. Feminist efforts to silence dissent simply aren’t working like they used to. That fainting couch is on its last legs and the damseling act is a bore. Why not try to be honest for once?

      1. since “spookiewon” was responding to “estlin” who said “No, women don’t want to hear this. The more I’m around the MRM the more convinced I am that a woman can’t contemplate a thought that triggers a negative feeling.” you might want to direct your admonishments about generalization to “estlin”

        spookiewon at least only referred to MRA men – estlin damned all women. it’s so strange to me that what she did bothered you and what he did didn’t. (that last line should be read with all the sarcasm)

      2. WRONG.
        Spookie replied to Estlin, and Estlin had said:
        “No, women don’t want to hear this. The more I’m around the MRM the more convinced I am that a woman can’t contemplate a thought that triggers a negative feeling.”

        So, Estlin had made a statement about women, not about feminists, he is the one who said all women are … (I don’t know what “contemplate a thought that triggers a negative feeling” really means, but I’m sure in his head is something bad). He didn’t say “all feminists”. He said “all women”.
        Spookie replied to him, not to the post byEdain.
        Why not try to be honest, for once?

      3. My bad.

        Still, one’s belief in gender equality, racial equality, or any other kind of equality, shouldn’t be shaken by a single comment on an article. It indicates that your belief couldn’t have been more than superficial to begin with.

        SPOOKIENON responded emotionally, threatened to withdraw her support for the rights and welfare of men and boys, and to flounce off in teary outrage. Why? Because she took umbrage about what someone wrote in a comment to an article.

        Now, what was that Mr Smith said about women being unable to contemplate thoughts that trigger negative feelings? Kind of proved his point, wouldn’t you say?

  1. I think equality has the main economical purpose also, everyone is neglecting: equal salary for same job should be mandatory. But will this equal salary be levelled on the top margin? or the low margin? I think it is the latter.

    1. Hey, as long as it’s equal salary for equal job everyone should agree. But don’t come complaining when I make more than you do but do 10 hours a week more work than you. The debacle with Tennis tournaments is a perfect example. Women were granted equal price money but have to play on average 10 matches less than men and less sets on top of that. Also women have exclusive rules that let them rest when the conditions are unbearable but men must continue playing. Now show me someone who thinks that’s equality and I’ll show you a sexist asshole.

  2. I disagree with your opinion. It’s like forcing oneself to look for something bad and criticize. For a name? Really? You mentioned the fact that woman need to be protected by men and here is the first generalization. Maybe in some relationships a woman has the role of a stronger half and a man is the one with warm heart making a house home. And that’s the thing she mentioned – boys don’t need to be strong when they don’t feel like it. Girls don’t need to be protected if they can protect themselves and others. You keep supporting the wrong image of fragile women and strong men while it may hurt some people and make them feel worthless in society. You ignored the whole point of her speech and focused on three words “he for she” or at least it seems so from what I read.
    I’m sorry if I make many mistakes in my comment but english is not my native language and maybe it’s also the reason why I really didn’t like your letter. Maybe I missed the whole point of it but you probably did the same thing hating on the name and what it may indicate instead of thinking about Emma’s speech deeper. I’m from Poland and I’m really surprised when I read things like “Women are objectified sexually, but men are objectified as utilities – “human doings rather than human beings”.”. I’m surprised because I thought Poland was a religious and full of traditions and here feminists are hated on on daily basis but none ever told me that men are objectified as utilities. No man, no woman ever has given me a single clue about such thing happening. It’s really common to see here women doing jobs which need a lot of physical strenght and sharing house duties or cooperation in this matter is something very usual not to say that it happens always. I found stating that men are objectified as tools quite ridiculous because that’s exactly what Emma and other feminists are against.
    I hope I made my mind clear and that the fact I hated your post wasn’t caused by my language skills.
    Have a great day 🙂 And sorry if I offended you in any way while stating my opinion on that 🙂

    1. There are people against feminism because they stick to the old role models and dont want equality. The new opponents against feminism don’t question gender equality. Quite the opposite. We claim that feminism has never been about equality, but just for more female rights. I a time, that led to more equality. That time has passed. Now it is the other gender that has less legal rights, and feminism still just fights for women. That is not equality. A good start to understand what is written about here would be: http://time.com/3028827/women-against-feminism-gets-it-right/

      1. Thank you for the link, it was really nice to read though I knew the matter before. Still, I think feminism IS about the equality of both genders even with the “femini” part of its name and of course there are some extremes but most of the feminists I know are against putting women above men. And all the “women against feminism” are the ones still criticising the name without looking deeper. Feminism fights for equality – I still believe it and will still stand for HUMAN neither men nor women rights. 🙂

      2. I believe so too 🙂 The most important thing is to keep being a good person and not to harm anyone. Thank you for this kind and respectful discussion 🙂

      3. Thank you for this. And whoever posted the link. It is a good response to Emma Watson but not a valid one. And the only simple reason its not valid is because of male privilege. Its a true notion and though some males believe it other don’t. And it happens without them knowing. Yes female privilege exist like in domestic violence but the extent of male privilege is so much larger. That pedestal that he says women would be on isn’t even half of the pedestal that males are in. I don’t know if the writer is white because then that adds to the white privilege.

      4. Thanks for commenting. I really seek the dialogue.

        Isn’t it the very nature of the feminist privillege theory that one cannot see the privilleges one has? How can a women then say that she has less privilleges than a man?
        I could list quite a few of them. And it does not end at DV. A woman has far less pressure to be economically successful than a man, which leads to more working hours, more stress, an earlier death. Yet feminsim says the reason for so few female CEOs is a glass ceiling. I find the pressure of society on males more convincing.
        I studied economic engineering, out of 200 students there were 3 women. All 3 made a carreer that is comparable (or better) to mine.
        That is my main quarrel with most feminist. Claiming to be all for equality, but only really caring about one gender. And on top of that, it does not encourage women to take up responsibility (for instance when coosing their classes) but demand action from men.

        I am white, I am even European and on top of that German, a country that has made it quite well through the economic crisis, so yes I do have quite a lot of privilleges. If you can read some German (google translate might also give you the gist of it) http://tom174.wordpress.com/2013/11/23/privillegienverzicht/ an article I wrote on privilleges.

      5. I fully support women’s rights – and I fully denounce feminism. Feminism is a sexist movement that lost its way a long time ago.
        Q: Does feminism put all people equally? Just look at *any* site about feminism and the theme is consistent. Man bad, woman good.
        If you don’t represent everyone equally, you are prejudiced. That includes feminists (female chauvinists).
        It really is simple. Do not align yourself with a cause linked with the name of a gender. Call yourself a humanitarian.
        What happened to Matt Taylor recently sickened me. Who were the main antagonists? Feminists. It was sickening.
        If you are a feminist, stop calling yourself a feminist. Call yourself a humanist and say you represent all groups equally, without prejudice. At some point you would have to apply equity (eg. you wouldn’t equate the Ku Klux Klan with Green Peace), but it’s not based on gender. As others have said, feminism does not equal women’s rights. I am 100% for women’s rights and 100% against feminism.

        In summary, anyone that sides with a gender (eg. the “fem” in feminism) is sexist. Stop kidding yourself. Sexism is sexism – and the most vocal sexists today are feminists.

    2. It is not just the name of the project that is off-putting, but its feminist nature. It is fully expected that this will not be an equity movement, but more of the same abuse feminism has leveled against men for the last 90 years. Basically, feminism no longer has any credibility, so even if it were more appropriately named, we simply wouldn’t believe it anyway.

      1. I’m not sure if it lost all its credibility becuase whatever site with a comment section you visit there are people claiming “I would support feminists but they’re feminists not equalists so they encourage women to demand more leaving men behind but they have some good points”. Women are discriminated – maybe not as much in your country but in many others even ones we see as civilised where the wages aren’t equeal (for the same job of course) or the harassments happen on daily basis. The same applies for men – they are discriminated but the thing is that people who discriminate them blame feminism for that. For example (as you may know I’m from Poland so my example will be polish 🙂 ) a new kind of burlesque will be opened in the capital city but not an usual one but the one performed by men. Those men chose to dance in burlesque, they enjoy it and nobody forces them to do that. But as you can expect there are hateful people everywhere on the internet calling them names and hurting them for what they do. But the best thing said by these people is that it’s feminists’ fault that there are such “weirdos”, “freaks” out there as men shouldn’t behave like that. They blame feminists that they created men who enjoy dancing. They blame feminists that people do what they love. And the feminists stand up for their rights. To me it says enough – feminism doesn’t care only about women’s rights. It helps all genders doing what they want in life and enjoying it.
        Feminism seeks equality and I’ll never change my mind. Especially after people blame feminists for unbelieveable things.
        Have a great day! 🙂

      2. You know that the last 90 years is basically everything except for the vote itself, right? Like, none of the political, economic, and legal protections and opportunities available to women today would be there if women had just scribbled their opinions on a ballot slip and otherwise kept their mouths shut about all of the issues they’ve brought up in the last 90, 50, 20 years. I’m sure men would be sitting pretty happy, though. I mean, if a man had been raped, particularly by a woman, 100 years ago, especially since it was/is such a frequent occurrence? Pssh. There wouldn’t have been any women left to find the balls (sorry, bravery) to do that shit again. And seriously, quid pro quo isn’t even okay, anymore? Really now?

    3. Feminism has taken so much flack about being called ‘feminism’ (but standing for equality between the sexes) it’s not even realistic that anyone today would think there would not be issues with #HeFroShe Here is a thought… if feminism is about equality why does it ‘refuse’ to be labeled anything like egalitarian.. After 50 years of being told this, we are just to believe that these sexist phrases make no difference? If that’s true, then why not change it?. If it’s all the same to you, and the feminist movement and equality, why not use #SheForHe to make the exact same points?? Why does feminism see an “absolute need” to force everyone to believe that words have no meaning when the meaning is in their favor, but when the words are ‘bossy’ feminists take on a whole new understanding about the value of the meaning of words? Sorry, we have been through this for 50 years and at least 80% of the population have had enough of this mind numbing, societal crippling crap.. Today we now see the uprising of the anti-feminist , WomenAgainstFeminism, MRA, MGTOW Movements among many others. I for one am glad and look forward to its total destruction..

      Also:: http://youtu.be/3TR_YuDFIFI

      1. Call it whatever you want but when you want equality then you want the same as many many feminists which you want destroyed 🙂

    4. Here are 23 more feminist statements we (men) are required to overlook because feminists (and you) tell us to…

      I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them. Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor
      The nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process. Linda Gordon
      I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig. Andrea Dworkin
      Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage. Sheila Cronin, the leader of the feminist organization NOW
      Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice. Andrea Dworkin
      The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist. Ti-Grace Atkinson
      Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear. Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will p.6
      When a woman reaches ****** with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression. Sheila Jeffrys
      Politically, I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated. Catherine MacKinnon
      The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men. Sharon Stone
      Ninety-five percent of women’s experiences are about being a victim. Or about being an underdog, or having to survive… women didn’t go to Vietnam and blow things up. They are not Rambo. Jodie Foster, quoted in The New York Times Magazine
      The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race. Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There Is One – Is Female
      And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual (male), it may be mainly a quantitative difference. Susan Griffin, Rape: The All-American Crime
      If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males. Mary Daly
      If anyone is prosecuted for filing a false report, then victims of real attacks will be less likely to report them. David Angier
      Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience. Catherine Comins
      As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women…he can sexually molest his daughters… THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE. Marilyn French
      I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it. Barbara Jordan, former Congresswoman
      Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release. Germaine Greer
      Man-hating is everywhere, but everywhere it is twisted and transformed, disguised, tranquilized, and qualified. It coexists, never peacefully, with the love, desire, respect, and need women also feel for men. Always man-hating is shadowed by its milder, more diplomatic and doubtful twin, ambivalence. Judith Levine
      Women have their faults / men have only two: / everything they say / everything they do. Popular Feminist Graffiti
      We are taught, encouraged, moulded by and lulled into accepting a range of false notions about the family. As a source of some of our most profound experiences, it continues to be such an integral part of our emotional lives that it appears beyond criticism. Yet hiding from the truth of family life leaves women and children vulnerable. Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women
      I do want to be able to explain to a 9-year-old boy in terms he will understand why I think it’s OK for girls to wear shirts that revel in their superiority over boys. Treena Shapiro

      1. i see. and MRA say that we don’t need feminism because we are already privileged over men. would you like a list of quotes by men that prove otherwise? or might you look at said list and say “well all men can’t be held accountable . . .”

      2. So you say I could quote Hitler and some other nazis about their horrible things and by these quotes want Germany destroyed? That’s a shallow point of view. I’d never agree with those things so how am I telling you these things? You should already know that media will take the worst speeches to make fuss about something. They don’t say how billions of people don’t kill anyone but a few do. And you were tricked by them into thinking that all feminists are such extremes and men hating. And you labeled me as I could label you sexist because there are politicians (there are so many) who say that women belong to kitchen or blame victims for rape. You’ve just thrown some quotes, none of which was mine, none of which I could ever agree with and labeled me. Good job, keep up the logic 🙂

      3. @hypertilde The Quotes above they are not from just some radical feminists, some of them were from leaders of the movement. He did not even quote Solanas Scum manifesto, still a well selling feminist book.
        I know, not everyone that identifies as feminist wants more than equality, but a lot of them do. And they are the loud ones. The active ones. There are reasonable ones, I think you might find Christina Hoff Sommers very close to your views, as well as Warren Farrel. Yet, when I see what feminism these days in the western world wants to achieve, then it is quotas for the top jobs, skipping the innocent until proven guilty charge, any accussation should result in a immediate dismissal of the accused at the very least.
        If you want to see how a guy feels when he enters some feminist group.. make the experiment. Make a new twitter acc, take a male name, and start some questions to a feminist.
        The emma watson speach itself caught a lot of criticism from the feminist side as well.
        The Hitler comparison. I am German. The Nazi Ideology was horrible. Even though not all Germans were Nazis, I am damn glad that we were opposed and lost the war.

      1. You can always tell an ignoramus by their concentration on word volume as opposed to meaning of content.

  3. I enjoyed reading this. I don’t agree with you opinion on the name change, it feels like a petty issue to pick up on in the grand scheme of things.
    But you demonstrate a rare, impressive understanding of the struggles of both sexes; something some would say many feminists somewhat lack of late. “Women are objectified sexually, but men are objectified as utilities.”
    It was a very powerful article, keep up the great work!

      1. Exactly. The whole “speech” was pathetic. “Yes, we have thrown shit at you for 50 years, but we still need your help.”

        Sorry, girls. The day when you start to check your own privilege. Until that day I work for no woman. MGTOW.

        You’ve claimed to be “strong and independent”. Now be strong and independent and help your self.

  4. wow. i like that article a lot and i get your point with that name and i think i get the other points, too. but other than that i appreciate emma watson’s speech and the un initiative a lot and really really do hope that your article will not be misused by anti-feminists 😦

    1. Anyone that wants sexism stopped is anti-feminist.
      Stop defending sexist people. I support humanitarians.
      Seriously, I have never met a feminist who wasn’t sexist. It usually takes me a few minutes to uncover the truth. Feminists see themselves as a gender, they align themselves with a gender. How can you purport to represent all sexes, yet be a feminist? It’s like saying “I like some blacks, but i’m in the Ku Klux Klan”. It makes *no* sense.
      Feminism must be denounced. Sexism must be denounced. Only when you associate yourself with ALL groups neutrally can you truly be on the path to non-sexism.
      Feminists ARE sexist.

  5. Hi Elderich,

    I totally agree with you, allthough i really like Emma Watson i think that she has been instrumentalized by feminism.

    I have allways said that when women claim equal rights they will have to fulfill equal duties, if you don’t then you don’t deserve equal rights. For example here in Germany we had military duty for all men, women were naturally exempted. They claimed equal rights but have not claimed equal duties like thus. I call that hypocrisy. A good example for misleading feminism i can provide as well. Just google up the name Alice Schwarzer. She is a red rag to me through and through.

    There are more things that anger me up like “we have to support” girls in geting good jobs or going to university with so called “girls days” and so on, boys are shunted sideways and are neglected which is reasoned that they can help themself. Theese things have turned me against feminism.

    We had discusions about sexism in germany as well like the causes of Reiner Brüderle or Jörg Kachelmann. They have been turned both down by the media but Kachelmann turned out to be innocent in the end. They should have apologized for the medial sentence as being a monstrous ugly creature. Nothing happened not a single word of “I’m sorry” has left the lips of the media let allone the leader of the anti Kachelmann campaign Alice Schwarzer, they just maintained silence and let the gras to grow as if nothing has happened.

    With theese things meaning feminism, no thanks before theese things get overhand i emigrate to mars and leave the girls to deal with talibans, IS or quaida. I think it’ll be entertaining to see the feminist fighting those…

  6. It is a shame that yet another famous women has been hoodwinked by feminism. The Open Letter is well written and will touch a chord with those men who are just starting to realise that they are now the ‘equality’ victims in society.

    keep up the good work.

    1. Yep. God dammit, I feel so victimized able to get whatever the hell job I want, never needing to feel judged (except by my church) about how much sex I get, nor getting cat-called every time I walk down the street in a pair of shorts I think look good. Life sucks, man. And Emma? Hell, she should just be grateful her dad didn’t match her up with the local butcher when he had the chance.

      1. Little boy, go out in reality and enjoy the privilege of having your kids taken from you, of working in the hardest professions and being disposable in war.

  7. It is a shame that yet another famous woman has been hoodwinked by feminism. The Open Letter is well written and will touch a chord with those men who are just starting to realise that they are now the ‘equality’ victims in society.

    Keep up the good work.

  8. She said Feminism doesn’t hate men… Yeah right… they only blame ’em rob ’em and nag ’em to death.

    1. Sooo, you read and commented on a response to something you haven’t even listened to yet? You don’t even know what points are being responded to, you’re just nodding your head in agreement because it fits what you believe? k

      1. As if there’s ever something new. “Dont bother to exam a folly. Ask only what it accomplishes.” (Ayn Rand)

        The whole point of feminism is to exploit men as much as possible. You get that after a while. You don’t need to relearn it again and again.

  9. very well said. I would have written something similar if I wasn’t held up with a critical exam. Thus, will take the liberty to reblog your article. I am a woman btw and agree with every you said (except that you portray the pay gap myth as if it was real, yes, women earn less but they also work less and value flexibility more. That was certainly a priority for me in my current job and has probably lead to a lower wage. You just can’t have it all 😉

  10. Very well articulated. Many are tweeting about it. I hope Emma Watson finds it and is exposed to an alternative view to the mainstream feminist hogwash she’s probably consumed for years, like everyone else.

    1. I mean, it’s not like she addressed the hatred of the terminology or the fact that men are left alone. Of course she is completely blind to it all. I’ll be praying for her. Maybe she’ll see the light on those wretched, evil movies she was in as a child, too.

  11. Reblogged this on Ice-cream in Pakistan and commented:
    Excellent article on the #heforshe campaign that should have really been a #sheforhe campaign. My fingers were itching all day to write something similar but as I am held up with the critical last exam for my degree I will take the liberty to reblog this.

    1. Yeah, why isn’t it #SheForHe, anyway? Where are our political representatives? Why aren’t men in charge of most corporations? Why is it okay for women to call us sluts just for enjoying sex once in a while?

      1. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear, but I was being sarcastic. I find it very telling that men think they need protection from the women they’ve been viewing as inferior for thousands of years. Whites thought they needed protection, too, and that’s why the Jim Crow laws were enacted. That’s why women were kept in the house in the first place. A woman doing scientific research? What’s next, matriarchy???

      2. Can you please quote a respectable source that says that “men need protection from the women they’ve been viewing as inferior for thousands of years”. I have never heard of that. You need to consult Kristal Garcia about the Jim Crow laws. There were plenty of white women that demanded black men to be lynched for looking at them. It was the same old misandry, plus some racism thrown in, that we have today.

      3. There is no basis for claiming white women’s views on black men had anything to do with their sex. Would not have said anything if a white man looked at them. That was entirely to do with their race because they felt blacks didn’t deserve the “privilege” of looking, and because they felt threatened, by the fact that the alleged “gawkers” were black.

      4. While I can cite numerous examples of ALL men today being told that looking at a woman is sexual assault (which is a slap in the face of actual victims of sexual assault) you will not be able to cite examples of black women being lynched for looking at white men or women. As I said, there are numerous female activists with that background trying to draw attention to these matters. It is indeed very interesting to see how race has become less important relations between people haven’t become better but condenscension for men has been widened to include all men at all times. Which, however, doesn’t mean that this wasn’t the case in the past. We are just now surpassing the Victorians in how we protect the honour of a lady from the dishonourable looks of men 😉

    1. True, the only thing that bothers people is that it’s HE for SHE and not SHE for HE and it’s really sad.

      1. The bother thing is that campaign is only the binary point of view of society. And yes, it’s sexist, women don’t need men; isn’t that the First Commandment in Feminism??
        And the only threat that Watson receive is the possibility of leaking private photos of her, pics that of course they don’t have..

    2. As a famous feminist once said (over and over and over again): “Cry me a river”. Sorry, girls, you have shown yourself to be so utterly indifferent to what men and boys go through, that we don’t care any more. To repeat: WE DON*T CARE ANY MORE.

      Perhaps she was threatned by other feminists as a tactic to gain symphaty. These people have shown themselves capable of any lie.

  12. I don’t think anybody involved in this campaign would disagree with any points you’ve just made. If you wanted the name changed, all you had to was ask. However, you have drawn a lot of attention to the fact that the name has unintentionally continued our business as usual model. 7/10.

  13. I really liked your letter. I don’t see anything there I disagree with.

    It’s a bit amusing, when I first read about “He for She”, I thought, but isn’t that just called life?? So you’re quite right here, “I want a consideration of men’s humanity rather than a consideration of how men can be more useful to women.” Feminists especially, are very good at perceiving men only in their relationship to women, and that is often perceived negatively.

  14. Hi, while your reply to the #HeForShe campaign is well thought out and does add some very important considerations I do feel that the direction of your criticism is wrong.

    You are assuming some sort of exclusivity – that the effort is one sided, he for she. Rather I think that, of course there is a bigger picture. All campaigns for equality need to take in the bigger picture. That doesn’t mean a focused campaign is wrong.

    You are criticising a focused campaign for not taking everything into consideration. That, however, is not how you solve a problem. You solve a problem by breaking it up and solving a piece at a time. Then you put the bigger pieces together. Currently, there is need for men to stand up for and with equal right feminism.

    Critique within that puzzle box should of course be appreciated – why or why not this is a legitimate smaller piece of the puzzle.

      1. Thanks for the reply Kristian. You say “So we are not in fact being invited to stand up for all human rights, to take a stand against all forms of violence and discrimination. We are explicitly not standing as one against all forms of gender discrimination and violence. The pledge could have stopped at the 30th word, but those final five entirely changed the meaning”

        In response to “… faced by women and girls”.

        While it is absolutely true that we should stand up against any sort of violence and discrimination, no matter where it is – we can also work on individual problem because each aspect of the problem requires a different approach. There is no ‘one solution’ to violence and discrimination. It is a multifaceted complex problem with various reasons, biases and cultural differences. You could even argue that this campaign could be split up into several regional campaigns, drawn on cultural borders. Fighting for the right to drive a car or free speech is part of the solution in some areas – in other areas it might be internal biases in the hiring process or the systemic inequality due to childcare …

        It in no way makes the speech irrelevant. What you are doing is called a fallacy (https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/tu-quoque – for example, strawman too really.)

  15. my grandmother, born 1892, told me in her wisdom, if the man works outside the home and the woman does not than the majority of household duties falls on the woman, but if both work outside the home, household duties fall equal to both, simple logic and common sense, applies to all of society men and women, or women and men have equal responsibility, equal contribution, equal say, that said some like to cut wood, some like to cook, the sex of the person means nothing, or it should not, seems to me the approach should be logic, not politics

    1. If only more people were logical, not political (or religious – because a lot of the discrimination comes from those kinds of teachings) … the world would be a lot less complicated.

    2. Actually Ted, studies show that even when women work they still attend to the household affairs. I think it is because the housework is not seen of as “valuable” because no income is tied to it and thus is still a “female” responsibility.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-206381/Working-women-housework.html

      Also, the only reason women fall into traditional working role such at teachers, etc, is because a man decided it would be a good idea to hire women to do it so that the schools could save money by paying women less than men.

      “God seems to have made woman peculiarly suited to guide and develop the infant mind, and it seems…very poor policy to pay a man 20 or 22 dollars a month, for teaching children the ABCs, when a female could do the work more successfully at one third of the price.” — Littleton School Committee, Littleton, Massachusetts, 1849
      http://www.pbs.org/onlyateacher/timeline.html

      We are fighting up against years of discrimination and silencing from those who benefit from sexism.

      It is easy to say “what about men” when you fear what it means to share things. You fear that more women working means less jobs for men, but if a woman works three times as hard for equal pay, is that meritocracy?

  16. I totally agree with you. I think all people are important, and in this letter you point that aout perfectly. Keep up the good work.

  17. Honestly. To say that women are the ones perpetuating the stereotypes against men. Seriously? You’re saying they forced you to be the manliest providers, leaders, and defenders you could possibly be? 9 in 10 workplace deaths are male, so they’re the ones who refused to enter the mines and lumber mills and nuclear plants? How ‘bout no. We as men established the stereotypes that put women down and raised us up. So guess what? We get to deal with the anxiety of leadership and the risk of more physical labor and the gender roles that attempt to keep us competing for the top of the man-eating food chain.

    If you don’t like it, stop putting women down and telling them they can’t have those jobs and that they aren’t qualified for leadership. Literally, all you have to do is remove the barriers, and… matriarchy. Excuse me. Fuck no. Isn’t it ironic that we believe women to be the inferior sex (based on the barriers established), and yet we fear that given even the smallest amount of opportunities, they will overthrow the global structure as we know it? Also ironic is that many of the sexist bastards on the right believe that if the government keeps its hands off of capitalism, it’ll all just correct itself. What’ll happen if we remove unspoken (or spoken) regulations on gender from the political, economic, legal equation?

    Maybe women will enter the mines and lumber mills and nuclear plants, simply because they want to. Maybe they’ll share the load of leadership in Congress and in the home. Maybe the more macho females will allow men to be more okay with reading and expressing themselves and, God forbid, cooking and cleaning—because they enjoy it, or simply because they love their wives enough to split the bill… evenly.

    I know it’s such a seriously deranged concept, but you can’t address sexism by saying women need to look out for the guys, when currently, they’re not allowed to share our external burdens, let alone our inner struggles.

  18. You do realize that the violence against men is still usually caused by men, not women?

    Heforshe hopes to reject many paradigms, violence included. Did you not hear the portion where she spoke about how negative gender stereotypes hurt men? How she was sad that men were not allowed the emotional expression that women are? I believe if men were allowed this emotional expression through demolition of gender stereotypes, violence would subside. Anger in itself is a secondary emotion. It is often expressed because of fear or humiliation.

    Not to mention our media cultivates a man desires, man takes culture. How many movies have you seen a man accomplish what he wants through violence and disregard of others rather than open communication and dialogue?

    I agree there are equal problems for men but striking down a woman’s attempt to solve the injustice she sees will not help your case. Just know, there are many feminists who are aware of the violence against men and considering men are the perpetuators, seek to stop it. Emma Watson is one of them. This is about both genders.

    1. “Striking down a woman’s attempt”. Why did it only just occur to me that men are complaining about the women speaking up for themselves? The ones who want “equality” think the women are doing it wrong and that their way needs to take a back seat to how most men think equality should occur. The men are complaining about not being included in the fight for “equality,” when the points men can make about feeling “inferior” are basically nothing to the ways women are actually treated as inferior. I am HeForShe because I’m not sexist, and I see beyond the fake-ass shit these HeAndShe douchebags are trying to sell.

    2. >You do realize that the violence against men is still usually caused by men, not women?
      You do realise that those women who are nasty won’t use physical violence, but psychological torture – humiliation, embarrassment, social isolation, don’t you?
      Look at the profile of a female psychopath (ie. read the text books). You will find similar behaviour that was applied to Matt Taylor (the English scientist).
      It’s strange that your post says “This is about both genders.”. I find very few people who practice this – and your post certainly does not reflect this issue being about everyone. I am suspecting a double standard.
      Rule #1 – a sexist person will focus on genders a lot. A non-sexist person avoids focussing on gender and ONLY differentiates when there is a biological difference and it’s essential to the discussion. A quick scan of this post will show that almost noone passes this test.

  19. (Excuse my english, im not used to use this lenguage)

    A simple idea.

    We mean equality, in fact its simple.
    Equal responsabilities and equal rigths, rigth? its what all we want.
    It shouldnt rise hates or hard feelings.
    All rigth, we have to take acount about few biological diferences, womens get pregnant and birth childs, rigth? Ok, so they need some free time before and after to be able to do what a mother biologicale its suposed to do, care for her child. Until this point i spect all of us agree.

    In this times the home dutys are shared (in my case it is, and i dont have a problem with it because is the rigth thing to do), because we both work and earn almost the same.

    But whats the matter? where is born the disparity? If what i have seen be the years, read and heard, the anwser is on. HOME. The mother and father values. Things like the boy should go to play on the street and the girl help in kitchen. We are the ones who separate and conditionate them, the res is just the consecuence.

    Men hating or men satanisation is just a way to turn blind on the problem. Men and Women are guilty equaly in this, and to get equality we should start by recognicing this point.

    So its equal rigths, equal responsabilities and equal guilt.

    PD: There are funny things i see every day, here just one of them. There were a old man, not elderly, but old enougth no be really tired for been standing on the bus for a long term, and then a young woman with sport ature went in, more likely she were about to jog a bit some place, she walked few steps and standed in front of the man demanding him to spare the sit to her because she was a woman and wwas her rigth, then the old man smiled and standed up. The woman sitted and called by phone a friend of her, and started telling her how she were about to get to the mitting with all the feminist party.
    Its courious how we are equal for its convenient for us, but we are not when it benefit us.
    How do i know this? simple, i was standing just next to the old man, i gave my sit to him because i saw him tired. Thats unjust.

    Thanks.

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